Introduction and Welcome

Satellite



     Todd turned left onto J Street from 2nd Avenue expecting to see his red VW Golf where he had left it a little over two hours ago. He skidded to a halt leaving a dash of black on the sun dried sidewalk, then swung his leg over the seat of his Cannondale Rush mountain bike. He laid the bike down and set the Autozone bag, containing a distributor cap and coil wire, next to the bike.
     Maybe it was over on K Street? He thought. Or maybe further up on L Street? The narrow lanes of the Avenues tended to look the same even though Todd had lived in the area for the past year.
     He slapped the power pole that stood near the sidewalk. Yup, that’s the one. He remembered scraping against it while pushing the car to the side of the road — same seven month old “Lost Cat” flyer and torn “Saturday’s Voyeur” poster. Todd shook his head.
     Just to be sure, he rode East to K Street then circled back.
     Strange. Todd looked around scratching the back of his neck. His gaze went northwest toward City Creek Canyon where he did his mountain biking on the Bonneville Shoreline Trail, then swept westward past Farmington Bay of the Great Salt Lake and the tower of Salt Lake International Airport off in the far distance. The triple stacks of the old power station shimmered in the late afternoon sun against the dusty brown backdrop of the Oquirrh Mountains far off to the west.
     “Dude, where’s my car?” Todd said into the warm afternoon air.

*        *       *

     Niki could barely contain her elation at the news of her departmental scholarship — a component to fill in the gaps that the general scholarship failed to cover. At the start of next semester, after the holiday break, she would even have her own dorm room and meal ticket. She looked forward to cutting back hours at Shoney’s Restaurant and focusing instead on her studies — maybe even have time for the Honors Program.
     The news had motivated her to stay late at the Eccles Health Science Library to polish her semester presentation. Time had slipped by and now she looked forward to dinner with Brad to celebrate the good news and start off a relaxing weekend without homework.
     She had dated Brad exclusively for nearly a year now. Friday night had become a standing date. Usually, by afternoon, either of them would initiate with a call or text and they would set something up ad hoc. “Where to, this evening, love?” became their pet phrase. Recently, Brad started saying it in a British accent, and Niki played along. “Oh, I dunno, dear. You choose this time,” she would rattle back, mimicking the Estuary English of Michael Cain in one of their favorite old movies, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. That’s one thing she really enjoyed about Brad, he turned everything into something fun and out of the ordinary.
     Odd, though, that she hadn’t heard from him yet today. Probably held up by a late meeting at the firm, Niki thought as she exited the Trax light-rail car onto the platform at 4th South and 6th East as the sun quartered the western sky. After walking four blocks north, she turned east on 1st Avenue about half a mile from her building.
     She stepped off the curb to cross J Street and heard the word “stolen” come from up the street. For a confused second she thought the man was talking to her and turned in that direction. A young man with a phone to his ear punctuated his words with severe gestures from his free hand, obviously upset at something.
     “Evidence?” Niki heard the man say. Intrigued, she stopped and stared at him. “Because the car isn’t here,” he said. “What more evidence do you need?” He then paused, listening to the party on the other end of the line. He glanced up at her and smiled.
     Feeling conspicuous, Niki turned back, scanned for traffic, and crossed heading east on 1st Avenue. She checked her phone again, though she hadn’t heard a chime. Still no reply? It wasn’t like Brad not to respond to her texts, meeting or no.


*    *    *

     Todd hung up with the DMV just as his roommate pulled up. “Hey, Justin. Pop the trunk, will ya? I’ve got my bike.” Todd flipped the quick release and pulled the front wheel off with a bit of effort as the brake rotor tended to snag.
     “I was already heading home when you called. What happened?”
     “Car broke down. Hang on.” Todd slid the bike into the trunk sideways, readjusting after banging it against the edge once or twice. He set the wheel on top of the frame and walked around the car.
     “You can’t leave it open like that,” Justin said as Todd hopped in and shut the passenger door.
     “You got a bungee?”
     “No,” Justin said.
     “It’s okay. Just go,” Todd insisted.
     “Fine,” Justin said releasing the clutch, then braking almost immediately at the stop sign causing the open trunk lid to bounce off the bike frame.
     “Dude! Careful.”
     Justin shrugged. “Hey, if your car broke down, where is it?”
     Todd scoffed. “I hoofed it home, grabbed the bike, and picked up a cap and rotor at Autozone way the hell out on Ninth South. By the time I got back here, the damn thing was gone. When I called the cops to report it stolen, they told me to call over to DMV. Guess what? They towed it.”
     “Not going to miss the gig tonight, though, right?” Justin asked glancing at Todd through the side of his eye.
     “Why would this cause me to miss?” Todd asked, indicating the Autozone bag.
     Justin grunted and chriped to a stop at a four-way.
     Todd continued into Justin’s sullen silence, “—you realize I always ride in the gig van with Cody on account of the drum kit, right?”
     “Guess so.”
     “Anyway, they brought in a car fitting the description, though they couldn’t check for sure since I didn’t know the license plate number off the top of my head.”
     “You don’t know your plate number?”
     “No, man,” Todd scoffed. “You know yours?”
     “Whiskey three five two sierra mike,” Justin said with a smug grin. He popped the clutch and launched the car into a swinging left turn, then jammed the stick into second to accelerate out of the apex.
     “Wow,” Todd said while grabbing the “Oh Shit” handle fastened to the ceiling above his right ear. “That is possibly the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard anybody say. Did I hear a ‘niner’ in there?”
     Justin scowled. “Anyway, why do the cops think it’s not stolen?”
     Todd held up his Autozone bag. “Because the grand theft types don’t usually drive off in a car that doesn’t run.”
     “So crooks can’t tow cars?”
     Todd gave him a crusty, “yeah, right” look. “The cop I talked to thinks that if the tag is expired, they probably impounded my car, which he couldn’t confirm—.”
     “Because you don’t know your plate number,” Justin finished the sentence.
     “Yeah, now you’re getting it.”
     “Hey, talk about getting it, take a look at her. What do you think? She’s, like, at least an eight, yeah?” Justin said as they passed by a girl walking on the sidewalk.
     Todd glanced up. “Oh, her. Yeah, I saw her earlier when I was on the phone. She’s cute, but eight? Really?”
     “You think she’s a seven?” Justin made a face. “She’s not a nine.”
     “Why not a nine? It’s arbitrary anyway.”
     “Oh, here we go,” Justin said.
     “The one-to-ten scale thing is stupid,” Todd continued.
     “Oh, come on, man.” Justin said. ”If a girl is hot, she’s a ten. Simple.”
     “Yeah, but half the scale is’t even usable. Do you really care about the difference between three and four? Only two categories matter, man.”
     “You mean like that ‘Hot vs. Crazy’ YouTube video?”
     “No, not that.” Todd scratched his shoulder. Something poked him through his shirt sleeve. He picked  a sliver of wood the size of a toothpick from the material, then rolled down the window and flicked the offending hanger-on out into the street. Brushing his shoulder Todd continued, ”No, think about it. All that really matters is whether, for you, she’s above or below the line.“ Todd held his hand horizontally. ”Make sense? It’s totally subjective, but the scale makes us think there’s some objective authority.”
     “So?”
     “So, why miss out on getting to know someone great just because a random dude told you the girl is only as hot as some arbitrary number on a fictional scale?”
     “You’re overthinking it.”
     “Maybe.“ Todd yawned. ”But I’ve found that often conventional wisdom works against you, ya know?”
     “Like what?”
     “Well, like your brother Dave and what’s-her-name—“
     “Kristen. Yeah, bro, she’s hot.”
     “Sure. But look at Dave. That poor guy is like a dog sniffing around for table scraps. In my experience, that kind of one-sided relationship is miserable and never ends well.”
     “So you’re saying you avoid hot girls?”
     “Not at all—“ Todd considered it for a second. “You know that ‘knockout’ feeling when you see a girl that stops you dead in your tracks and you have to tell yourself to breath again?”
     “Yeah.”
     “Yeah,” Todd mimicked. “Conventional wisdom says that’s love at first sight, right? The girl of your dreams.”
     “Okay—” Justin said, trailing off.
     “Well it’s nonsense. In my experience that feeling is a warning: proceed with caution, know what I mean?”
     Justin scrunched his forehead. “Yeah, I guess I can see that.”
     “Whoa, careful,” Todd said as they turned.
     Justin’s car bounded into the driveway. The trunk lid swung down on its spring hinges and glanced off the frame with a clang that elicited a near coronary thrombosis from the passenger seat.
     “Dude!” Todd yelled. He opened the door before the car came to a complete stop and jumped out to inspect the damage.


*    *    *

     “Hey, where have you been? We’re heading out.” Niki’s roommate, Brandi, grabbed her jacket and slung a small handbag over her shoulder. “You and Brad coming?”
     Niki shrugged. “Haven’t heard from him. I’d better wait.”
     “That guy.” Brandi shook her head. “Don’t wait too long. If you haven’t heard by now, you’re not going to. That’s how they are.” Brandi paused and raised her eyebrows expectantly, as if to say, so are you coming or what?
     Niki shook her head. “What do you mean that guy? You don’t know Brad like I do—”
     “Oh come on, girl. He’s a dude, right? You guys have been going out for, what, a year now?”
     “Something like that,” Niki said.
     “Well, dear. You might want to tell that to Brad. He certainly hasn’t been steady for a year. Besides, in my book, that’s six months past the expiration date.”
     “What do you mean? Brad and I go out every Friday night.”
     Brandi pulled the door open. “All I’m sayin’ is Friday is only one day out of of the seven, you know?”
     “What’s that supposed to mean?” Niki asked defensively.
     “Don’t be naive. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The door swung shut behind her.
     With a frustrated sigh, Niki glanced at her iPhone, again, as she walked into her bedroom. She tossed her school satchel onto the bed and kicked off her shoes. She had sent Brad four text messages without a response — two above her self-imposed limit. Disgusted, she turned the ringer up full and tossed the phone onto her bed.
     She turned toward the bathroom to get a shower out of the way.
     Sure enough, half way through the shower, just as she had lathered up her hair, Niki heard the ringtone. She turned the water off, threw back the curtain, and, holding a towel up to her chest, scampered down the short hallway to the bedroom.
     Tapping the answer icon, she frowned as she noticed the caller I.D.  “Hello?”
     “Well hi, dear,” came a familiar voice from the other end.
     “Oh, hi, mom. Can I call you right back?” Niki pulled the phone away to select the speaker setting, then set the phone back down on the bedside table. She proceeded to wrap herself properly while her mother talked.
     “No need, dear. I just called to tell you that your grandmother is in the hospital up there in Salt Lake City, and that it’d be nice of you to stop by for a visit—“
     “I can go see her Sunday.”
     “That’d be nice. You know, it’s been so long since —“
     Niki cut her off. “Sorry, mom. I’m literally in the shower—”
     “Oh,” her mother said. ”Well, okay, dear. Be sure to visit your grandmother.”
     “Bye, mom. Love you—” Niki tapped the hang up icon as her mother was in the middle of saying “love you too.” “Oh, crap,” she muttered. Then, pinning the towel to her sides with her elbows, she texted to her mother, “which hospital?”
     As she stepped back into the shower, she mumbled to herself, “Real smart, Niki.”


*    *    *

     As he walked down 1st Avenue with his telescope case slung over his shoulder, Todd caught himself counting the beat in his headphones, an unfortunate side effect of being a drummer. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4, 2 - 2 - 3 - and - 4 - and - 1, and on and on. Most back-beat tunes were just variants of this two measure, 4/4 rock standard time signature. For example, rock drummers most often hit splash and crash cymbals for emphasis on the first downbeat of the first measure and rarely on the first downbeat of the second measure. Likewise, transitions and fills most often occur on the “three-and-four-and” leading up to the first downbeat cymbal crash, but rarely in the middle of the two measure stretch. The tune currently playing on his headphones, “Satellite” by Guster, had some off-beat snare flams on the third count of every other measure.
     “Shining like a work of art ... Hanging on a wall of stars,” Todd sang along as he entered the double doors into the lobby of the Arlington apartment building, his former place of residence.
     “Hey, Dan. How ya doin?” he called out to the security guard who sat in the lobby desk.
     “Mister Todd! It’s been too long my brother,” Dan said with a broad grin lighting up his face.
     “Has your sister gone back to the old country yet, or is she still hanging out here at your place?”
     “Still here. Though my mother keeps putting the pressure on, you know, for her to go back home.” Dan gestured toward the telescope. “Ah yes, heading up to the roof tonight?”
     “Should be good viewing.” Todd held up the cylinder strapped over his shoulder. “Clear and calm.
     “Excellent. Oh hey. When do you play again?”
     “Oh, I dunno.” Todd shrugged. “Justin keeps us posted. Probably not for a few weeks.”
     “Well let me know. I enjoyed your show last year. Would like to see if you have new stuff.” Dan grinned.
     “Thanks,” Todd said with a cringe. “Nothing worth mentioning.”
     “No, no.” Dan shook his head. “You guys are great.”
     “Well, thanks. I appreciate that.” Todd headed for the stairs.
     “I’ll buzz you through,” Dan said.
     The door to the stairwell buzzed and Todd pulled the handle hearing the usual sharp click. He entered and started up the first flight of stairs.
     As the door closed behind him, Todd heard the elevator ‘ding’ and Dan’s voice echo through the lobby, “Ah, Miss Niki—” The metal door thumped shut cutting off the rest of the conversation.
     Todd smiled to himself. He hadn’t really known anyone else as genuine as Dan. It was hard not to get drawn into a conversation with the always smiling, always conversational security guard. His given name was Kidan, but he went by Daniel, or just Dan, since immigrating from Northern Ethiopia four years earlier. Todd had engaged in many conversations with the guard in years past when Todd, Justin, and the other band members had shared an apartment on the fourth floor. On occasion, Todd had asked Dan about growing up in North Africa and learned that Dan had been through some serious shit. His father and one of his brothers had been killed during the Red Terror of the late 1970s. The surviving family members, Dan, his mother, older brother, and younger sister had split up to live among relatives. Dan and his brother ended up emigrating to the U.S. and lived about 800 miles apart. His sister and mother, on the other hand, elected to stay home with family, though his sister bounced between the family village in the Dire Dawa region, San Diego, and Salt Lake City whenever her brothers could spring for airfare. Despite his past turmoil, Dan always managed to move the conversations in a positive mode.
     Todd paused at the top of the stairs to enter the code Dan had given him into the ancient combo-lock above the doorknob. Stenciled on the door were the words “Roof Access.”
     Once in his usual spot, Todd expanded the legs of the tripod, then unzipped around the edge of the case revealing the Setec Astronomy eight-inch Newtonian. He slid the telescope out and placed it on the tripod, then aligned and tightened the viewfinder, though tonight he probably wouldn’t need it. His target hung bright and full about 25 degrees above Grandeur Peak to the east.
     Todd locked in the 7mm eyepiece and aimed the scope by squatting down and pointing it manually while gazing over the barrel. He called it “going bore sight”, a bit of fighter pilot lingo he’d picked up watching “Dog Fights” on the History channel when he was a kid.  Sometimes it was faster than using the viewfinder. Todd then adjusted focus and slewed over to Mare Serenitatis, his favorite feature of the Lunar surface. He liked how the Montes Haemus formed a sharp curve on the southern border of Serenitatis ending in a peninsula that pointed directly at the Apollo 17 landing site. From there, he spent some time following the contours like he had done with the National Geographic maps as a kid.


*    *    *

     “No Brad tonight?” Dan asked glancing across the lobby toward the revolving door.
     Niki smiled and closed her eyes briefly as she shrugged. “He’s busy. I’m just heading out to grab something to eat.”
     “Everything is okay, though, right?”
     Niki nodded. “Yes, just fine. How ‘bout you? Anything new?”
     They talked for a while, like they normally did. Then Niki headed out into the cool darkness. She reread the text Brad had sent while she had been in the shower.
Sry i missed u. meet for lunch sunday?
     Niki had responded with “Sure. What’s up?” attempting to play it cool, but got no reply. Her stomach churned and she didn’t feel like eating, but she knew skipping dinner would make things worse. And besides, she needed the noise and bustle to take the anxious edge off.
     Walking west on 1st Avenue, Niki figured on grabbing something at the food court of City Creek Center, but as she came around the east side of the shopping center she looked up and saw the sign of Martine Cafe. A wave of emotion washed over her. Brad had introduced her to the Mediterranean tapas restaurant on their second date. They had enjoyed it, and the place had become a frequent choice. Of course, with its dark wood interior and romantic candlelight atmosphere, Martine wasn’t the kind of place Niki would choose to go solo, but, if her hunch was right, she wouldn’t be dining.
     “You’d better not be in there,” Niki growled beneath her breath as she crossed the threshold to the hostess podium.
     “Can I help you?” the girl asked.
     Niki held up her phone. “No thanks, my party is already here. Is it okay if I just head back?”
     The hostess nodded sweetly and Niki placed the phone back into her rear pocket. She scanned the dining area, but didn’t see him. She began to hope, then her heart sank.
     At a small table in the back of the main dining room, Brad sat in his best suit laughing with some gold-plated bombshell wearing a black dress.
     Brad gestured as he spoke while the girl giggled into her napkin.
     Niki felt bile rise in her throat and stood frozen in the spot, her brain equally fixed between dashing out the door and walking up to the table, introducing herself, and splashing the contents of Brad’s Bordeaux glass down the front of his Ferreira tailored shirt.
     And the girl. Where did she come from all the sudden?
     Her dark hair flowed down her back to her bare shoulder blades. Probably extensions. Had to be extensions. No one could maintain such plentiful locks.
     Gold earrings sliced downward like tiny, diamond encrusted stilettos, with a matching necklace. As the girl — no, this was no mere girl — as the woman looked down to place her napkin on her barely covered lap, the necklace captured a ray of candlelight and threw a series of sparkles across the wall.
     “Who do you think you are,” Niki mumbled to herself. Then she looked down at her own attire. Jeans, an old pair of running shoes, a dark gray t-shirt featuring the Eiffel Tower in glitter, hipster knit hat, also gray, and a vintage moto jacket in brick red that she had gotten for Christmas her senior year in high school.
     Flight won over fight. Niki turned and strode from the dining room, the hostess’ cordial “thanks for coming in” ringing hollow in her ears as she pushed the door open into the brisk evening air. As she turned toward the food court, Niki wiped a tear from her cheek.


*     *     *

     From her fourth floor apartment, Niki had a direct view of the street. Sunday morning sunlight streamed in through the window casting bright stripes across the sparse furniture.
     “You know, you really should just relax. I dunno why you even agreed to go to lunch,” Brandi said between gravel crunching her granola-infused parfait.
     Niki responded with a frustrated sigh. She didn’t see the point of engaging with Brandi on the topic of her boyfriend’s antics. Niki had spent a good portion of her Saturday ruminating on the issue and had her own plan of how to handle the mess without snarky input from the likes of her roomie. But, the sight of Brad’s silver Audi A6 executing a u-turn in front of the building brought back all the weekend’s anxiety, and Niki felt a sudden pang of panic.
     She turned from the window and hurried to the bathroom sink. Turning the tap, she draped a hand towel around her neck and, cupping her hands, soaked her face in the cool water. She then warmed the water and repeated the action looking into the mirror to be sure the splotchy complexion and puffy eyes had been sufficiently erased.
     The ding of the elevator bell in the hallway startled her and set her stomach back to the sour churning. Niki gave her cheeks a final rub with the towel and composed herself as the doorbell rang followed by a chipper series of knocks.
     “That’s Brad all right,” Brandi slurred from her perch at the kitchen counter. “Come in!” she chimed sarcastically.
     Niki glared at Brandi for a split second, then set her rigid expression to a smile and pulled the door open. Brandi just smirked and shoveled another bite.
     “Hey,” Niki said, doing a poor job at sounding casual.
     “Good morning, sunshine girl.” Brad’s smile cracked across his face. “Wow, you’re looking good for just a little Sunday lunch,” he remarked. It was just a light sweater, but she knew it was one of his favorites. He put his hands around her hips and pulled her in for a kiss, but she twisted away, feigning a search for her keys.
     She snagged them from her purse and said, “Let’s go.”
     “Hey there Brandi,” Brad deadpanned toward the kitchen having caught Brandi’s groan at his attempted display of affection.
     Niki grabbed Brad’s arm and quickly guided him out of the apartment. “Where we going?” she asked sweetly, ringing for the elevator.
     “Well, how much time have you got?”
     “Plenty,” she blurted before her brain could assess whether it might be more advantageous to force this meeting to be short. “I mean,” she stammered. “I have some things to do before work, so we’ll have to skip the flight to Seattle and just do something local, if that’s okay with you.”
     “Hey, that’s not fair,” Brad said, clearly hurt.
     Niki immediately regretted the snipe, but couldn’t help it in this mood.
     Early on a Saturday morning last August, Brad had surprised her with plane tickets to Seattle. The two had spent the day traveling around the city by a combination of light rail and Uber. He had shown her around his old haunts from his undergraduate time at the University of Washington, then had taken her to a late lunch at Duke’s Chowder House in the Greenlake district, where students and locals converge on a paved path that circumnavigates the little lake.
     To her, the trip had taken their relationship to the next level, and she thought Brad had felt the same. Now, though, after seeing him last night, the memory of the trip mocked her.
     “Okay, I probably deserve that for not calling you last night—“
     “Yeah, I’d say,” Niki interrupted, entering the car and sitting in the passenger seat. Brad shut the door and walked around the front of the Audi. As soon as he opened the door, she pounced. “‘S - R - Y, i missed U’?!? That’s all you could come up with?”
     “I’m sorry,” he pleaded. “That’s a pretty crappy message. But, really. I couldn’t get away.”
     Her mind splintered into a dozen directions, but only one came into focus — and it wasn’t a pretty thought. “Was it work?”
     “Well, uh. No--”
     “Oh,” Niki said with a sweet lilt. “What could it have been then?”
     “You know Jim, my boss--”
     “You were with your boss, but not at work?” she said.
     “Not exactly. He, I mean, I --” Brad stammered.
     “You, what? What, exactly?”
     “I’m trying to explain, but you keep cutting me off,” Brad said.
     “What’s her name?” Niki gulped, letting the cat out of the bag. She quickly followed up with, “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
     “What?” Brad’s face became ashen. He paused, holding the key in front of the steering column. “What are you talking about?”
     If only, was the first thing that ran through her mind, but she held her tongue. She sat in silence staring at him. She’d been down this road before with other guys. She knew the next person to talk would be the “loser,” and she was not about to let it be herself again.
     “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get lunch and talk there.” He started the engine and put the car into gear.
     She immediately flung her door open.
     “Niki. You’re being irrational. Shut the door and let’s go have a good lunch.”
     “I’M being irrational?” She stepped out of the car and leaned in with one hand on the roof and the other on the door. “I’ve no intention of spending a couple hours being civil in public just to get the brush off.”
     “Babe,” Brad said smoothly. “You think that’s what this is?”
     “Don’t ‘babe’ me, you jerk. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me right now where you were and what you were doing last night.”
     “Niki, I don’t want it to go this way. Why don’t you get in and we can have a rational conversation, like adults.”
     She caught herself second guessing. Maybe there was a perfectly good explanation for what she saw last night. Like maybe his sister was in town for a visit and he had been obliged to take her to dinner. Yeah, right. Not dressed like that.
     “I’m still waiting,” she said.
     “Waiting for what?” he shrugged with false nonchalance.
     “You know what. Tell me what you were doing last night that was so important.”
     Now Brad started to lose his cool. “Wow, girl. You’ve developed quite an opinion of yourself.”
     “Oh,” she said. “That’s rational.”
     “It is,” he raised his voice.
     “Then why can’t you tell me what you were up to last night?”
     “Fine.” Brad paused and glared at her, a bit of color rising on his face. “Since you’re so adamant to know, I took my boss’ daughter to dinner and the symphony as a favor to him.“
     “Ha!” she shouted. It was, unfortunately, the only thing she could think of in the moment. Her plan to confront Brad hadn’t gone beyond getting him to confess.
     “Hey,” Brad said. “It’s not like you and I are engaged. And WE didn’t have plans last night. I don’t know why you’re getting your panties in a wad.”
     “Really?” She said. “Is that what I’m doing? Getting my irrational panties all up in a wad?” Niki stood to slam the door but her hand slipped and she stumbled on the curb. She had to pivot to catch her balance or face the humiliation of picking herself up off the grass. She stomped a few paces toward the building, her blood boiling in her ears, when she heard Brad shouting something. He had the audacity to honk the car horn. She turned and saw Brad’s red face as he gestured.
     “Ya gonna shut the door?” he yelled.
     She took a step toward the car, but then saw the ridiculousness of the situation. What was she going to do, walk over there and quietly shut the door like a nice little girl? Hell with that! Niki flung her arms in the air. “Shut it yourself!” She then turned and trudged across the lawn toward her building.
     The Audi’s engine revved, then a squeal of tires broke the mid-morning calm. She turned to see the silver car dart away as the passenger door slammed shut from the sudden acceleration.
     “Brilliant!” Niki shouted at the speeding car. “Just brilliant!”


*    *    *

     What a crappy weekend, Todd groused as he raced down J Street on his way to work at Home Depot. He had been getting around by bike and public transportation since losing his car Friday afternoon. It wasn’t too bad downtown, but the ride home Friday night in the dark proved a bit harrowing. He had never before needed to ride at night and didn’t own a headlight or rear flasher. He hadn’t even thought about bringing along his crappy $2.99 Duracell LED headlamp — not that the thing would have helped much anyway. The 10:00 PM Friday night traffic had been heavier than expected, due to a symphony concert at Abravanel Hall, forcing him to stick to the sidewalks through town.
     Now, however, Todd made good time downhill through the Sunday morning traffic. He shifted his weight rearward to make the turn south onto State Street at speed, feathering the rear brake to keep balance into the turn. Traffic had built in the left lanes as it usual did approaching the First South intersection. Everything looked normal, but something felt wrong. When he saw the flash of silver, it was already too late.
     As often happens on a five lane boulevard during congestion, the left lane and the left turning lane (colloquially known as the “chicken” lane) tend to fill up while the right lane remains clear due to the Right Turn On Red rule. Occasionally a driver in the left lane yields a gap for a left-turning vehicle from the opposite direction to pass through the gridlock — a traffic pattern known as “The Suckerhole.”
     The trouble occurs as the do-gooder waves the opposing driver into the breach. The turner often barrels through forgetting that a fully active right lane stands between them and their desired destination.
     Likewise, the right lane traffic, oblivious to the ad hoc contract made by the other two drivers, continues happily along at full speed until some Crazy Idiot™ suddenly appears out of nowhere. Usually one of two outcomes occur: either the two vehicles miss one another, or an event known as a “t-bone” ensues in which one of the cars smashes perpendicular into the other. On these occasions it is usually better to be the t-boner rather than the t-bonee.
     The whole stupid scenario flashed through Todd’s mind as a silver Audi A6 darted into his field of vision. Fortunately, Todd’s position was that of the t-bonee, since the car had only achieved about fifteen miles-per-hour before impact, whereas Todd’s forward velocity approached thirty.
     “Ohhhh Shiiiii—“ Todd began to say as he passed in front of the accelerating car. He cringed for impact and, for a brief second, thought the Crazy Idiot™ had missed him. Then a violent jolt sent him flying. The A6 clipped the rear fork grazing his left leg before bouncing to a halt. The other right lane traffic that had been following the cyclist added their own screeching and tire smoke to the scene.
     The impact dislodged Todd from the Cannondale and time slowed as he flew through the crisp air. With a cool clarity he observed the contrast of the white line across the dark asphalt as it sped closer. He saw that, rather than mere paint, the white line had a diamond pattern to it he had never noticed before. It looked more like a long roll of adhesive tape than a painted line.
     The white line came toward him ever closer, like those videos of NASA spacecraft docking slowly, slowly, until — CONTACT!
     Instinctively, Todd threw his left arm up to brace the impact. As his head made landfall, he thought, shoulda worn my damn helmet, then he saw bright red and white stars, followed by blackness.
     He would later find out from the witness report that his bike came up behind, having been flipped in the air, and struck his body on the way down. The crazy, bouncing bike then continued on its original trajectory nearly succeeding in disrupting the flow of cross traffic at the intersection, some ten yards beyond the point of impact.


*    *     *

     The ER entrance wasn’t the most convenient way to enter LDS Hospital, but Niki knew it from her time spent doing research for a pre-med research paper last semester. She passed through the automatic doors and headed toward the elevator bay.
     Commotion behind made her turn. A couple of EMTs burst through the doors pushing a gurney down the narrow corridor. The attending nurse pushed passed Niki from the opposite direction toward the EMT crew. “What have you got?”
     “Move, move,” the EMT at the foot of the gurney said to Niki motioning with her hand. The gruff EMT turned her attention to the patient and spoke to the nurse without looking up, still moving down the hallway.
     “Car vee bike. Unconscious, but stable. Didn’t need to bag him. Left arm compound. General lacerations. Contusion on left leg.”
     “No helmet?” the nurse asked.
     The EMT at the head of the gurney grunted. “No.”
     Niki noticed the patient’s shirt had been cut away and a splint wrapped the left arm.
     “I’ll call up to CT, “ the nurse stated. “Good chance of concussion, but we need to be sure there’s no internal bleeding. Don’t want him throwing a clot in the doughnut.”
     As the entourage wheeled by, Niki felt that she knew the patient, but could not place where. School? Hard to say with the transient nature of classes and lectures.
     With the tumult over, Niki made her way to the elevator and up to General Admission on the third floor. She walked past the nurse station searching for room 303 according to the information from her mother’s text message.  She opened the door with a tentative knock and stuck her head inside. “Grandma?”
     “Well, hello, dear. I didn’t expect to see you today.” Her grandmother sat up and reached for the T.V. remote. “What do you have there,” she said referring to the white paper sack Niki carried.
     Niki held it up, then opened it and reached in. “Vanilla shake, your favorite.”
     “Oh bless you, child.” She slid over in the bed, adjusted the pillows, and patted the spot next to her. Niki sat, then swung her legs up and got comfortable. She strawed both shakes, and handed one over to her grandmother who took it with a twinkle in her eye. “Cheers,” she said tipping her cup slightly.
     Niki giggled and they both sipped from their straws. It reminded her of old times when her grandmother would have sleepovers. They would order takeout and eat off T.V. trays while watching a DVD Niki picked out. The sleepovers ended when Niki was in high school and became too busy, but she continued to visit frequently. Grandma’s house was a a solace from Niki’s crazy-maker mother.
     “Are you okay?” Niki began.
     “Oh stop,” her grandmother said with feigned indignation. “This,” she patted the knee brace. “Is just a mechanical fix. Nothing wrong but time and age. The doctor told me ten years ago I’d probably have to get it looked into down the road. Now here we are.”
     “Well I hope I’m half as active at your age.”
     “Hardly, dear.”
     “Don’t ‘hardly, dear’ me. You won your age group just two years ago.”
     Her grandmother chuckled. “That’s only because no one else showed up.”
     “Maybe so, but that alone says something, doesn’t it?”
     Her grandmother smiled and patted Niki on the hand. “Never stop, dear. Keep doing something. Even if it’s just an hour of yard work, which is about all I can muster some days. But what about you? Has that boy proposed yet?”
     “Who, Brad?” Proposed? Now there’s a funny thought. “No. It doesn’t look like things are heading that direction.”
     “Well why ever not? What’s the hold up? Your end, or his?”
     Niki hesitated. She hadn’t really had a chance to get her thoughts together since confronting Brad the day before. “Both, I guess.”
     “You don’t sound too sure, sweetie.”
     “I know—” Niki sighed. “It’s just that we kinda had a bit of a — um — falling out the other day.” She pronounced “falling out” like a question. She looked at her grandmother who sat patiently with sharp eyes and a soft, expectant smile. Unlike her mother, there was no judgement there.
     The whole story tumbled from Niki. From the Seattle day trip, that now felt like a big lead on, to the Friday night standing date, to seeing him with her at dinner, so smug and happy together, and finally to her humiliating confrontation with Brad earlier that day.
     “Oh, Nicholette, dear.” Her grandmother was the only person on earth who could get away with using her full name. It had been, after all, her mother’s name, Niki’s great grandmother.  Maybe Niki disliked her full name because the only time she heard it growing up was when her mother used it in vain. “NIchoLETTE,” her mother would yell, driving the accent on the last syllable. But when her grandmother said it, the name took on a sophisticated feel the way she accented the first syllable and carried the first vowel, then let the last syllable trail. That’s why Niki chose to spell her nickname with one ‘k’, to suggest a strong ‘ee’ sound on the vowel.
     Niki wiped a tear with the palm of her hand. She laughed, which came out half sob. “I really thought Brad was going to be the one. Why didn’t I see it coming? Am I just stupid?”
     “No dear. It takes time for everyone. Heaven knows I didn’t have the best track record. But when I was your age we tended to rush into marriage, especially by today’s standard. It was expected. I think things are a little better now — in some ways. People take longer to figure things out before they get married. But with Bradley—“ Her use of Brad’s full name made Niki laugh, though again, through a sob. “When you talked about him, dear, everything was about the external -- his job, his clothes, the elaborate dating -- but I didn’t get the sense that you two were making a deeper connection.”
     “Why didn’t you say anything?”
     “Honey. I did, if you recall. Remember when you visited on your Summer break?”
     “But, you told me Brad seemed great,” Niki creased her eyebrows.
     “Yes, and then do you remember what I said?”
     Niki thought for a second, then recognition colored her face. “Oh. When you said you felt Brad was insincere, I thought you were just giving advice—“
     “Well, I’m glad you take what I say so seriously,” her grandmother quipped. She smiled to remove any sting.
     “No, it’s not that,” Niki said quickly. “I guess all I heard was the part about you liking him.”
     “When the hormones get involved, there usually isn’t anything anyone can say on the matter.”
     Niki thought of her roommate’s recent comment. She felt her face redden, “Could everyone see it but me? I’m ridiculous.”
     Her grandmother patted her arm. “Honey, Bradley shows all the signs of narcissistic behavior— which I learned all about from Robert, my second husband.“ She smiled and rolled her eyes with comic exaggeration. “Better to find out now than later, believe me.”
     “Somehow that doesn’t feel like much reassurance.”
     Her grandmother hugged Niki across the shoulders. “Well, I think there’s a lesson in there somewhere, but we’re not going to get to the bottom of it this afternoon. You need some time to think about it a bit. But I’ll be here for you when you have questions, and I hope you have a few — that would tell me you put some time into sorting it. C’mon, let’s talk about something else. How are you getting along in school?”
     “Oh, yeah. I haven’t told you the news.” Niki sat up a little straighter. “You’re looking at the latest recipient of the Eccles Scholarship.”


*    *    * 

     “That’s the last of it,” the nurse said removing the O2 sensor that had pinched Todd’s finger for the past three days — four, if he counted Sunday evening. He’d lost the bulk of the week laying around this place.
     “Thanks.” Todd flung his legs over the side of the bed. He sported the open-in-the-back hospital gown and weird, papery hospital skivvies, along with a tight stocking over his bruised left leg.
     An orderly who had worked Todd’s room more than once over the past few days handed him a plastic sack with his clothes, wallet, cell phone, and wristwatch. “Here you go. I bet you can’t wait to get out of that hospital gown.”
     “That’s a fact,” Todd said. He dumped the contents of the sack and arranged things on the bed awkwardly with his good hand. A few choice curse words rose from his lips when he grabbed the pair of briefs and contemplated the task of pulling them on one-handed.
     He left the gown hanging across his front between himself and the orderly, though it provided minimal dignity.
     He had no sooner dropped trou’ when he heard the door click open behind him and a girl’s voice say, “Grandmother?” followed by the sound of the privacy curtain being quickly racked to one side. The stranger yelped and covered her mouth, eyes wide.
     Bent over with his fanny pointing in the direction of the door, Todd twisted around to catch the girl’s shocked expression as she spun and darted for the door.
     “Ohmygosh! Sorry! Sorry! Ohmygosh!” the girl repeated as the heavy hospital door shut a with resounding ka-thunk, leaving Todd and the orderly stunned for a confused moment before they both burst out laughing.
     “Who was that?” Todd asked, working the undergarment up so he could finally throw off the gown.
     The orderly shrugged. “Dunno, man, but I think she saw a bit more than she bargained for.”
     Todd took up his work pants off the bed wincing in pain as he attempted to use his left arm out of habit. He held the remnants of the old pair of dungarees up and frowned. The left pant leg dangled from hip to ankle where the EMTs had cut them. He reached to the bed and held up the orange Home Depot shirt that hung in shreds.
     The orderly looked up. Recognition, concern, then amusement crept across his face. “Didn’t someone bring a change of clothes for you from home?” Todd shook his head. The orderly continued, “Well, usually someone brings a change of clothes when they come to pick up the patient—” He let the sentence trail off.
     Todd shrugged. “I called my roommates earlier, but they all left this morning for a weekend in Moab.
     “Man, you need new friends,” the orderly said.
     “Tell me about it.” Todd looked down at his shirtless, broken state.
     The orderly let him stew a second longer, then smiling, said “Don’t worry about it. I’ll fix you up with some old scrubs. Be right back.”


*    *    *

     The door to her grandmother’s former room thudded closed. Niki hurried away hoping that whoever had been in the room wouldn’t come looking for answers. She stopped at the nurse station and cleared her throat. “Hi. Has Becky, I mean, Rebecca Wimmer been moved?” she asked. She angled her body to avoid the corridor hoping to finish up and make a clean getaway.
     No such luck.
     While the nurse typed, the dreaded door opened and a man wearing scrubs exited the room. Niki wanted to hide, but what could she do, run? Cover her face with her hand? Instead, she stood frozen and felt heat rise on her face.
     “Hey Janice,” the man said. His cheerful eyes seemed to be looking directly at Niki causing her heart to freeze.
     “Wha?” Niki tried to speak, but just a whisper came out.
     His smile turned to a wide grin and she knew she had been made. He held her eye for a brief second and chuckled. He then turned to the nurse at the counter. “Janice—“
     “What’s up, Sean?” the nurse asked, looking up from her screen.
     “Scrubs for 303. The patient’s civvies are shreds.”
     Janice sighed. “Didn’t his family bring clothes? You know how Teresa feels about handing out spares—”
     The orderly cut her off with a shrug and an expression that said, I know, but— “He couldn’t get ahold of anyone. C’mon, you know how it is.” The orderly beamed a toothy grin and gestured for the nurse to hand him the sheet.
     The nurse grunted and handed the orderly a clipboard. “How can I say no to that face? Just don’t go giving him a ride or anything.”
     “Now what would give you that idea?” the orderly mocked, handing back the clipboard. He then caught Niki’s eye and winked. His grin took on an air of satisfied mischief causing her blush to deepen. She rolled her eyes and covered her face, turning away as the orderly walked down the corridor behind the nurse station.
     “She’s been discharged,” Janice said.
     “Huh? Sorry?” Niki said in surprise. She had completely forgotten about her previous inquiry and her purpose for standing there in the first place.
     “Ms. Wimmer was discharged,” the nurse said with a pleasant smile. She gave Niki a second for the information to sink in, then, with a coy smile, jerked her head the direction the orderly had gone. “What was that all about?”
     “Oh, god—” Niki groaned. “Don’t ask.” She bolted from the counter heading for an exit — any exit. A few paces down the corridor Niki turned and shouted a belated “Thank you!” to the nurse, and disappeared around a corner.


*    *    *

     When the orderly came back to the room with the change of scrubs, Todd threw away the old jeans, but bagged the work shirt. He figured he didn’t technically own the shirt and better have evidence of it in case his boss or somebody asked.
     Todd slipped the discharge papers, white baggie containing the prescription bottles, and the remnants of his shirt into a plastic bag. “Well, see ya,” he said and turned to leave.
     “Ahem.” The orderly swung a wheelchair into the room. “Hop in.”
     Todd groaned. “You’re not really going to make me ride that thing?“ He looked down and gestured at his condition.
     “Just enjoy the ride. Besides, it’s policy. Can’t do anything about it.”
     “Ugh,” Todd sat propping up his cast arm and holding the bag in his lap with the other hand.
     At the the main entrance the orderly asked, “You have a ride, right?”
     “Of course,” Todd said with a nod.
     The orderly gave him a not-buying-it look. “We can get you a shuttle.”
     Todd felt panic swell at the thought of waiting around for a Handi-Trans and being fussed over any further. “Nah, hell no. It’s good.” He turned and started walking.
     “Are you sure? Wait—” the orderly called to him.
     “Yeah,” Todd said over his shoulder. “No problem.”
     The orderly scrunched his face, then shrugged and turned back to the automatic door pushing the now empty wheelchair.
     Todd relaxed and started walking. Everything seemed fine until he tried to step up over the curb. He stood still for a second waiting for the pain in his leg to subside. The damned bruised leg hurt more than the busted arm. “Yeah, but you’re not walking on your arm,” he muttered to himself. He sighed, looked down the street feeling the sun warm the back of his neck. “Two miles,” he sighed to himself. “Yeah, sure. We got this.”
     By the time Todd limped across the neighbor’s lawn up to his carport the pain in his leg had subsided from excruciating to merely unbearable. Unlocking the door, he glanced over at the mangled remains of his Cannondale in the car port and paused. He had no idea how it had gotten there. Justin hadn’t said anything about it. The rear rim resembled the shape of a taco shell and the aluminum top bar bent with a slight dog leg. He groaned. The frame was a write off. Maybe he could salvage the handlebars, seat, and crank.
     With that thought, he flung the door open and limped to the kitchen sink to wash down a hydrocodone. He then dragged himself into his bedroom, threw back the covers, and gingerly slipped beneath the sheets.
     Todd awoke as the sun cast deep red light across his bedroom wall. For a second he didn’t know if it was sunrise or sunset. Even an appeal to the alarm clock on the side table didn’t clarify until he blinked to focus on the red dot indicating 6:42 PM. He had been asleep for over five hours.
     He moved to get up, then collapsed back with a groan. His head felt like it had been drop kicked, and his leg screamed to let him know it was still attached. He might have stayed, but his bladder would not be denied.
     After a shower, something to eat, and a couple ibuprofen tablets to tide him over between doses of the heavier stuff, Todd looked around the empty, darkening rooms with rising chagrin. Without another thought he shouldered his telescope case and headed out into the night.
     “My god, brother, what happened to you?” Dan cried out when Todd entered the lobby. His limp must have become ridiculous after a mile walk in his condition.
     “Sit, sit.” Dan rushed over and took the telescope, then led Todd to the lobby chairs.
     “It’s okay,” Todd waved Dan away, but sat gratefully with a groan.
     “You have to tell me what happened.” Dan hovered with an expression that said he wouldn’t let Todd up until he’d rested.
     “Well,” Todd started. “You heard about my car?”
     Dan shook his head and pursed his eyebrows.
     “It broke down on the side of the road — but get this — before I had time to run to the autoparts store and back, they’d already towed and impounded it.”
     “Who took it?” Dan asked. “You mean the police?”
     “Yeah,” Todd nodded. He then explained how he got plowed under by the Audi and spent the better part of a week in the hospital.
     “And you had to walk home by yourself from the hospital? Why didn’t you call me?”
     Todd shrugged. “I can’t impose on you, man. You’re working—”
     “No. No.” Dan said. “You have to call me! I would have come to get you.”
     “Thanks,” Todd said, rubbing his leg. “I know you would have, but really, it wasn’t a big deal.” Wanting to change the subject Todd started to stand. “Is the roof available tonight?”
     “Yes, sure. I’ll carry your gear. We’ll take the elevator.”
     Dan fussed over him, holding doors and not letting him carry the tripod or even the telescope. Finally at the roof access door on the fifth floor Todd managed to wrestle the tripod from Dan’s grip with a smile.
     “I appreciate the help, but it’s fine. Really,” Todd said as he stepped onto the roof and turned back to where Dan held the door. “You can head back down to the lobby, but thanks again.”
     “Okay, my brother. Call me when you’re done and I’ll come help again.”
     “Dan, I appreciate it, but really, I can manage to come down stairs.”
     Todd hauled his gear to the usual spot and set up the tripod. A mild breeze rattled the leaves of the potted Ficus that lined the patio area. The leaves hadn’t started turning yet, but the air held a certain autumnal crispness.
     Holding the telescope case with the casted left arm proved to be too awkward and it slipped from his grasp hitting the patio with a sickly thud. As he picked it up a feminine voice broke the silence causing him to drop the cylinder all over again.
     “Are you okay?” the voice asked. “Here, let me help.”
     His eyes retained their night blindness due to the brightness of the stairwell. He sensed rather than saw the other person.
     “What are you doing up here?” he asked, regretting that he had allowed irritation to creep into his voice. But then, in his three years of coming up to the roof, Todd had never once met anyone else up here. He hadn’t realized until that moment how much he had come to think of it as his own place.
     “Oh, sorry,” she said. “Dan gave me the code — it’s for all the tenants, right?”
     “No, it’s not that—“ Todd began and faltered. “I — you just startled me is all.” His night vision improved a bit and he could see her outline in the dark. Some kind of perfume caught on the breeze.
     “I’m Niki,” the girl said. “Unit 4A.”
     “Heh, 4A, huh? No kidding?” Todd said. “Oh, uh, I’m Todd. I’m from 4A too -- I mean, that was my place a couple years ago. Which room did you take?” Sensing her hesitation, Todd followed up. “Sorry to pry,” he said. “It’s just that what are the chances you’re in my old place?”
     Niki smiled. “I’d guess the odds are pretty good. I mean, here we are. At the apartment building. On the roof.” She gestured.
     “Can’t argue with that,” Todd said. “Oh hey, does the shower still do that thing—“
     “--Where the showerhead twists and aims itself at the curtain when you turn on the water?”
     “That’s it,” Todd said.
     Niki giggled. “It gets everyone the first time. ‘Fool me once,’ right?” They laughed together.
     “We tried everything we could think of to fix it,” Todd said.  “But no matter how we wrapped or twisted the hose, the water pressure would flip that damn showerhead to point straight at you.”
     Niki pointed at the tripod. “So what are you doing up here? If you don’t mind my asking.”
     “Ah, yes,” Todd replied, regaining a bit of his composure. He lifted the telescope case. “Stargazing. Or, rather, moon gazing, mostly.”
     “I see,” she said. “And how is she?”
     “She?” Todd asked.
     “The old lady.”
     Todd grinned sheepishly and shrugged.
     “Luna,” Niki said with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.
     “Ohh.” Todd felt dense for not catching on. Her joking attitude impressed him. Usually it was he who did the joking around, but he had to admit feeling a bit sluggish after the events of the week. In fact, he ached all over. “Let’s take a look,” he said, grabbing the case, but fumbling it a bit.
     “Here, let me,” Niki said, quickly snatching the case and opening the top. She carefully removed the scope.
     “Okay, set it here,” Todd pointed to the tripod. “There we go.” He fastened the ring around the barrel, then, with some difficulty, adjusted the counterweight to get the aperture pointed southeast. Luna had risen above the peaks about an hour prior and now hung in the darkness. Todd had missed the fullness during his hospital stay, and now the satellite waned gibbous on its way to new moon.
     “I‘m glad to see you have a broken arm,” Niki said in a joking tone. She paused just long enough for Todd to begin to form a reply, then continued. “Because at first when I saw you fumbling around up here I thought maybe you were inebriated. I nearly bolted for the stairs.”
     Todd laughed. “So why didn’t you?”
     “The way Daniel treated you. Anyone friends with Daniel can’t be all that bad.”
     “Yeah, except one thing,” Todd brought up.
     “Oh? And what’s that?”
     “Dan is friends with everyone.”
     Niki laughed. “That’s for sure.”
     “So what brings you up here?” Todd said between adjustments to the scope.
     “The other day I saw someone go through the stair door in the lobby just after I’d come off the elevator, and I asked Daniel about it. Wish I’d known about this place sooner. I think I’ve been up here every night since.” She looked over at him.  “So how did you —“ she paused with a grin, “— break your arm?”
     “Got creamed by a silver Audi heading down State on my bike last Sunday.”
     “Wait a sec.” Niki gasped. “I know a guy who drives a silver Audi. Was it an A6? What did the driver look like?”
     Todd looked at her quizzically with a laugh. He began to utter a response when she interrupted.
     “Oh, that’s right--” She trailed off.
     “Yeah, I was pretty much out of it. The last thing I remember were those four linked rings on the grill bearing down on me.”   He put his eye back to the scope and made some adjustments.
     “No way. Omygosh—“ She covered her mouth. “Last Sunday? That was you, then, on the gurney—“
     Todd looked up from the scope. “What was me?”
     “I was there when the EMTs brought you in. You were unconscious. I can’t believe it was you.”
     Todd stared at her letting an amused smile steal onto his face. “Wait. You were there? At the crash?”
     “No, in the ER. I went to visit my grandmother and had just entered the emergency area when two EMTs came in with you on gurney. Your left arm,” she pointed to his cast,” was in a splint and your left leg was — “ She looked down, doubt crept into her voice. “Hmm. But your leg is okay.”
     Todd laughed. He shook his head and winced, rubbing the bruise on his left thigh. “No, it’s the most painful part of me, other than the concussion.”
     “So it was you! Shouldn’t you be lying down?”
     “Yeah, been doing that all day. I just discharged this morning.”
     “This morning?” Niki repeated. She covered her mouth, eyes wide, and made a  loud gasping sound.
     “What—“ Todd let the phrase trail with suspicion. “You weren’t at the hospital again this morning, were you?”
     Niki nodded her head keeping her hand over her mouth.
     Todd stared for a second, hovering between mortification and amusement. Finally her hysterical reaction got the better of him.  He threw back his head and laughed, wincing again. He pointed at her. “That was you?”
     Niki groaned, looking away with an embarrassed smile. “Me? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she feigned, then laughed.
     “Well,” Todd said looking down through the eyepiece glad to have a reason to change the subject. “This is a much more pleasant sight, I’m sure.” He beckoned for her to approach.
     Niki moved forward timidly.
     “Have you looked at the moon through a telescope before?”
     Niki shook her head. “You know, I never have.” She put her eye up to the glass and exclaimed, “Whoa! What is that?”
     “Mare Serenitatis,” Todd said with a bit too much nerdy Italian accent.
     “Oh, of course,” Niki laughed. “You would know the scientific name.”
     “Well. It’s not a scientific name,” Todd stated, amused. “It’s just the name. Sea of serenity. But the early astronomers were mostly Italian, so the names and naming patterns kinda stuck.”
     “Oh, like Galileo?”
     “Yes. Exactly,” Todd said. “Wow, look who knows so much,” he mimicked her joking tone. “Except, there’s no record of Galileo giving names to any of the features. That came later from maps that were discovered by—“ He cut the monologue short when he noticed Niki staring at him with a grin. “Sorry,” he said. “I sometimes ramble.”
     “No. I’m enjoying it,” she said.
     “Sure you are,” Todd joked.
     “Can I see more?” Niki asked, pointing at the telescope.
     “Really? You’re not bored?”
     “Not at all. This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”
     “Except maybe the view of the other full moon earlier today, eh?” Todd elbowed her. He waited to see how she would take the ribbing.
     Niki just said “Pssht, whatever” and rolled with it.
     Wow, Todd thought. “Here then,“ he said after an adjustment on the scope. “The Copernicus crater is great this close to the terminator, where the shadow cuts across.”
     “Oh,” Niki exclaimed. She gazed in silence for a moment. “You can see the peaks and valleys. It’s beautiful.”
     Todd caught another scent of perfume. “Sure is,” he agreed. “Shining like a work of art. Hanging on a wall of stars.”
     “What’s that?” Niki asked, looking up from the eyepiece.
     “Nothing." Todd smiled. "Just some lyrics I heard once.”


The End

Hacking 101


     I checked the letter head. Why the Campus Security office threatened me with expulsion, I had no idea. But there it was, my name at the top left of the official looking letter.
     I sighed and pushed the door open to a small office decorated like 1972 rather than the current 1992. I felt like I was plunging into yellow-brown, plasterboard version of Hades. 
     Two empty chairs stood with their yellow-brown fabric against the wall facing an unoccupied receptionist desk. To the right of the desk a potted tree-bush leaned against a narrow window that was like an arrowslit running from the floor to the ceiling. Wide enough to take aim, too narrow for someone to pass through.
     The window sat deep in bevelled concrete like an embrasure. “Brutalist,” a friend once told me the name for the architectural style, but to me it just felt Orwellian.
     Just then a blond mustachioed guy wearing the dark blue uniform of the campus police came up to the desk from the cubicle bullpen down a short hallway to the left of the desk. He looked up with a sneer. “Yeah?” 
     I handed him the letter.
     The officer glanced at it and set the letter down. "We'll be with you in a minute." He continued scanning down a list on a clipboard with his forefinger. "Take a seat."
     So I sat and looked around the little room. Two doorways stood closed to the left of the desk running down the hallway toward the bullpen. Each had a gray, two-inch-by-two-inch square label in the center at eye level. The door closest to me contained the number “1”, so I assumed the other door was number “2”, though I couldn’t make it out from this distance. I thought of the game show cliche', Will it be Door Number One, or Door Number Two?
     After a few minutes, the campus cop turned and disappeared into the door down the hall. 
     Door Number Two it is, I thought in announcer voice.
     My stomach growled. I had come straight from class hoping this wouldn't take long. Now, sitting here in the Campus Security office, I regretted not grabbing something at Carlita’s, or maybe even Taco Bell, before heading over. I might have been late by five minutes or so, but five minutes late-but-full, beats ten minutes early-but-hungry.
     Finally, after about what seemed like half-an-hour, Door Number Two squeaked open and the campus cop appeared. "Right this way," he said.
     As I entered the room I noticed two others already seated at a long fold-out table. The cop walked around the long end and gestured toward a chair on my side near the door. I shed my backpack and coat, and sat down in the tin chair. 
     With a sniff, the campus cop opened a file folder and flipped through a few pages while everyone sat in uneasy silence. I tried to get a look at the file, but couldn't make anything out. The guy to the right of the cop coughed. I thought I recognized him, but couldn't place where. 
     But the one on the left was a complete mystery. He sat back with his leg crossed so his ankle rested on his opposite leg. The knee of the crossed leg pushed over the top of the table like a ham in jeans. I noticed there was a stain on the faded knee of the pant leg. I looked up and saw him staring at me with a curled, menacing expression.
     After one last page flip, the cop clicked a tape recorder turning on a red LED. He then spoke in a terse, clipped tone stating the date and identifying himself as Officer David Jones of Campus Security. He did this with practiced effect, as if we were all acting out a deposition scene on Starsky & Hutch. Campus Cop Dave then asked me to state my full name "for the record."
     "What is this about?" I asked in a shaky voice. 
     "First state your name please," Campus Cop Dave said, exuding irritation. 
     "Um, William Morris Armitage?" The formality of it all made me feel silly and self-conscious.
     "And are you a student here?" He said without a pause. I nodded, but he leaned in. "Please answer verbally."
     "Um, yes," I said clearing my throat.
     "And do you use the computer lab?"
     Blink. The lab?
     I suddenly recognized the guy to the right of Campus Cop Dave. He avoided my gaze, but I knew him as one of the university’s computer lab techs. This meeting must be because of the Printer Incident.
     Just a few days prior I had helped this dimwit fix a print queue problem in the lab. As I entered the lab that day I saw a half-dozen students standing around the printer with the lab tech scratching his head at his terminal in a near state of panic. 
     "Hey, I can help with that", I called out, feeling sorry for the guy.
     "Man, if you can get these jobs to print, I'll owe you big time!" the weenie said like a junkie bumming a cigarette. The huddled students looked hopeful but continued to fidget. "I can see the jobs in the queue, but nothing's happening here at the printer."
     Of course, I knew exactly what to do. Another lab tech and I had been through the same issue the night before. It had taken us a while to figure it out, but I had noted everything he had done and it was all still fresh in my mind.
     I sat down at a VAX terminal, typed a few commands, and, with an electronic whine, print jobs started spitting out.
     "Woo hoo!" the tech hollered. "Dude, how'd you do that?"
     Getting caught up in the elation, I showed him the screen.
     "Oh." said the tech. "Are you from I.T.?"
     "No," I said, my smile fading.
     "Hmm. I thought only admins had access to that screen?"
     Oh crap. I’d screwed up big time letting him see that I had access to the admin system.
     My access had come from a backdoor that my roommate, John Merka, and I had discovered in the university administration program. Turns out, if you ran one of the three-dozen executables that makes up the admin application and fed it a username as an argument, you could bypass the login screen. If that user happened to be currently logged in, you gained their level of access until you closed the session even after the owner logged out. Since most faculty kept themselves logged in all the time you pretty much had full access whenever you felt the need to poke around through the system. And, of course, to make things really easy, the usernames of all faculty members and administrators were published on every email list, syllabus, and memo throughout campus.  In this case, I had only to enter the username of the previous night’s lab tech, then fire up the admin tool. Sensing that I had screwed up, I quickly cleared the screen, made some excuse to leave, and hoped that would be the end of it.
     Now with the tin chair hurting my butt in the interrogation room, I figured no good deed goes unpunished. I narrowed my gaze at the lab tech. He avoided my eyes and just stared down at his own checkered Vans under the table.
     You’re welcome, you son of a bitch.
     Still looking at the weenie I said to the cop, "Yes, I use the computer lab."
     Campus Cop Dave must have caught the snarkiness in my tone because he glanced up from his notes. "And did you use the computer lab two days ago on February 12th?"
     "Yes," I said. I started to put together the scenario. The third guy must be from I.T. and they'd traced my access somehow. Their method must have been hidden well, because in our explorations, John and I had never found any kind of intrusion detection program. 
     Campus Cop Dave flipped to the back of the dossier and pulled out a three-and-a-half-inch floppy diskette. He set it on the table with a click and slowly slid it toward me.
     At first I didn’t recognize it, but when I made out the label I gasped and rolled my eyes. The cop removed his hand with the tiniest jerk and sat back folding his arms. When I looked up at him, feeling busted, the corner of his mustache twitched upward before he composed his expression.
     How did they get that? Cold panic flooded the calm I’d worked so hard to maintain. In my haste to leave the lab a few days ago I must have left the disk in the drive. They retrieved the disk, saw the label, and then numbnuts over there must have come forward with the printer story. Or maybe the other way around. Either way, I thought, I'm screwed.
     "I'm going to ask you if this is your property," Campus Cop Dave said breaking into my panicked thoughts. He continued slowly. "But before I do, I'm going to remind you that we are recording this conversation and you are obligated to answer truthfully. We have also inspected the contents of this disk and found your name on some of the files." He paused until he caught my eye again, then held up the diskette and asked, "Have you seen this floppy disk, labeled 'Hacker Tools' before this meeting?"
     "Yes." What else could I say? It had been just a whim, but John had chided me for writing that stupid label on the disk. He was going to get such a kick out of this.
     ". . . before now?" I had just caught the end of what Campus Cop Dave had said.
     “What?” I stammered.
     “I said, have you ever had this disk in your possession before now?"
     "Yess." I ran through the contents in my mind. Not much there. And apparently not much in my mind, either.
     "Is this disk your personal property?"
     Hang on, I thought. My name on some of the files? Why would my name be on any files? Nothing on there but a few utilities  … and … the WordPerfect document containing my English paper -- and then I saw in my mind’s eye the half-written rough draft: "’How to Hack’, by William Armitage, 2nd Semester, Dr. Mike Walford." Heh. I relaxed a little and leaned forward in the chair.  If that’s all they had,  I might be able to argue my way out. "Yeah. That's my English paper." I reached for the diskette, but Campus Cop Dave just held it up with a slight wiggle.
     "Sorry. We won't be able to return this evidence," he said as he slipped the diskette back into the file folder. What a prick. "You're looking at expulsion at least just for possession of this disk." He tapped the folder with his index finger. "For writing an English paper?" I said. Then I composed myself. I didn’t know what else to say, so I waited for him to make the next move.
     The cop looked at the guy to his left and nodded.
     Suspected IT Admin cleared his throat but left the soiled knee up against the table. He gestured to include the lab tech. "We know you gained access that you shouldn't have."
     The soft high pitch of his voice surprised me. It seemed incongruous with his sneering demeanor.
     He then looked over at the lab tech weenie. "Cody, can you tell us for the record what transpired Tuesday the 12th in the lab?"
     Transpired? I thought. This guy must think he’s in a spy movie or something.
     "Well," Lab Tech Cody started. He looked at me, then back to the table. "I was troubleshooting a print problem and he used the Sysutils screen to clear the queue. He shouldn't have access to that function. I don't even have access or I could have fixed the problem myself." Yeah, but you didn't, you little weenie. You didn't even know to look there. "Dickweed," I mumbled under my breath.
     "What was that?" Campus Cop Dave sat up.
     "Huh?," I said feigning innocence to buy time. I hadn’t meant anyone to hear that. 
     "Do you have something to add to Cody's story?"
     I glared at the weenie. The guy wore an unbuttoned, short-sleeve dress-shirt over a black AC/DC tee. Really.  I glared a half-second longer, then turned to the cop. “No. Nothing to add.”
     "How'd you get access to Sysutils?" Suspected IT Admin spat out.
     "I didn't," I replied without looking over. I sensed his hostile glare and felt a little heat rise inside.
     "Well that's the only way to clear the queue," he said, trying to make his soft voice gruff. It came out comical.
     "Is it?” I said without thinking. 
     "Well, yes," Suspected IT Admin said. "It's the only way in our system to do anything with the print queue."
     "Okay." I shrugged.
     "Are you telling us you hacked a way around it?"
     I shook my head. I wanted to tell him how wrong he was. I wanted to say, "Your lame 'Sysutils' tool is just a menu wrapper for a system command; which itself is just an executable wrapper around the stupid system library function. Either of which can be run independently. And then there's the print queue file in the system subdirectory. Did you ever think of that? Hell, anyone can view the history and restart individual print jobs going back who knows how far. How many papers and assignments are just sitting out there for anyone to rip-off? But none of that is accessible from your Sysutils menu. So I guess none of it really exists, does it?"  I wanted to say. But instead I just said, "No."
     "No? How did you clear the queue then?" Suspected IT Admin asked.
     "I didn't," I said, trying to sound bored. “The lab tech must have fixed it with his troubleshooting.”
     "That's not true," Lab Tech Cody whined. "I was troubleshooting and he came in and said he could fix it."
     I shook my head again and played obtuse. "I was just working on my English paper." I smiled, though I felt like punching the guy in his pimply face. 
     Lab Tech Cody shook his head causing his wiry, brown hair to thrash around his ears. "No! You said--"
     Campus Cop Dave held up his hand, "Okay. That’s enough." He paused for a minute looking me in the eye.
     I stole a glance around the table and willed myself to stay calm. These guys were starting to get under my skin. I wanted to lay into them. Tell him what a crappy, vulnerable system they ran--”
     "William," Campus Cop Dave said pausing until I looked up at him. "We know you have been hacking around our system. You need to tell us exactly what you've gained access to and how you've done it." He tapped his forefinger on the table to emphasize the last few syllables.  I wanted to reach out and rip that blond 'stache off his condescending face. But then he leaned in and said, "I don't need to remind you that we already have all the evidence we need to get you thrown in jail. If you come clean with the rest, and names of anyone else involved, we will hold it at just getting you expelled. Or,” he pressed the dossier with the palm of his hand. ”We file formal charges with the State Attorney General."
     My eyes went wide, and I could tell Campus Cop Dave noticed.
     "Yup. Criminal charges." he sneered.
     The "You're Wrong" rant boiled up again in my mind, but I shoved it back. I felt like they were trying to push me into saying something -- either confessing or getting pissed off. And that thought, the idea that they wanted me to lose my cool and incriminate myself really pissed me off. I felt my face flush. 
     But I remembered some advice my dad had given me a few years back. I had been riding with him when a cop pulled us over. My dad tried to be cordial. He asked the cop how his evening was going, and mentioned, as required by law, that he had his carry permit. My dad then explained that he’d have to expose his weapon to get to his wallet, then waited until the cop said, “Ok, sir.” But when he pulled back his vest, the cop saw the grip of his Glock 19 and  yelled at him. “Sir! It’s against the law to flash a concealed weapon!”  With a sigh, my dad handed over his license.
     "Dad, he's wrong, “ I had said after the cop had gone back to run the registration. I was mad at the condescending way the cop had treated him. “Open carry rules apply once he acknowledges, right?"
     "Yes, you’re right," my dad smiled and sighed again. "Maybe in a court I could get a judge to see it that way, but William, never argue with a police officer in the line of duty."
     "But he's wrong, dad. He’s treating you like you're an idiot."
     "Yes, but arguing will only make it worse. Listen, getting into it with a cop can only lead one direction and it's not the way you want things to go." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sometimes I think they try to goad you into confrontation, and believe me, they can complicate your life a lot more than you can theirs."
     My dad paused, then looked over, "You have to understand, they can ask you anything they want, and they can say anything they want to try and get a confession. Heh, they can even lie and bluff because in the end it’s your word against theirs." He looked at me and shook his head. "But you are only legally obligated to identify yourself.” He waved his hand in dismissal. "But look, if they can get even a hint of confession it solves their problem of having to prove anything, whether you're innocent or not.
     "So I'll tell you this, when the police stop you, be polite and keep your attitude, umm, helpful. But, you don't have to volunteer anything."
     The old memory flashed through my mind as my stomach growled and I stared across the table at my trio of accusers. I suppressed the urge to lash out. Took a deep, slow breath, and smiled. "I'd like to help further,” I said, ”but I really don’t see what more I can do." Campus Cop Dave straightened and smiled as if he'd been waiting for this moment. He opened the folder, took a piece of paper off the top, and flipped it around so I could see it. He then pushed it toward me. "This says you're being expelled for breaking the code of ethics for unauthorized access to a university computer system."
     I grimaced. "And you’re basing this all on my English paper?"
     Suspected IT Admin sat up and threw his arms forward. "We know you've hacked into the system. We know you accessed the print queue illegally." He scooted his chair jabbing a pudgy forefinger at me. I caught a whiff of nerd B.O. "We have proof and a witness, and we're going to nail your ass to the wall."
     Really?” I said. “You’re going to nail my ass?”
     Dave held up his hand, again taking control. "Look, this is about saving you from a criminal hearing. You sign," he tapped the form, "and this can all end right here. I'm giving you a chance to get out of this without jail time or a criminal record." He let the words hang in the stale air.
     I stared at the badge on the other side of the table. The nametag with the letters “Jones” rose and fell with the cop’s breath. I set my jaw and pushed the form a few inches away from me. "Have I done something wrong?"
     "Hell yes--" Suspected IT Admin exploded, eyes bulging.     Campus Cop Dave gave him a look to shut him up, then turned to me. "You know what you've done. If you want to go to jail, be my guest. Otherwise, this is your last chance."
     I sat in silence. Nothing to say.
     After a tense few seconds, the cop started in again, "William, this is your last best option. With a criminal record you’d be lucky even to get into a trade school. But, if you sign, I can make sure this doesn’t go into the system. We can keep it an internal matter. You can get a fresh start at another institution--"
     At that point I shook my head and gave the paper another shove. His face flushed. “No? Fine. Have it your way.” With that, Campus Cop Dave stood with a screech of his chair and replaced the form atop the stack of papers in the dossier. He slapped the folder closed and clicked the tape recorder off.
     "Am I free to go?" I glared up at him.
     He nodded waving his hand in dismissal.
     I grabbed my coat, lifted my backpack, and headed for the door.
     As I pulled the door open, Campus Cop Dave tried one last time.  "William,“ he said, almost pleading, ”you won't get this deal in the future. When we meet again it will be to the fullest extent of the law."
     The weight of it passed through me and I felt myself waver. Just sign it and be done with the hassle. I could go to a different school. I would figure out something. 
     But I thought again about my dad’s lesson. Did I really believe this cop would stop here if I gave him what amounted to a signed confession? No way!
     At any rate, the expulsion would at least go on my transcript. I’d have to throw away the last year-and-a-half of hard work and excellent GPA. Not to mention my scholarship! And for what? Helped out a tech weenie in a tight spot? As far as I was concerned I’d done nothing wrong. Well, nothing criminal. Sure, I’d gained privileged access and poked around where I didn’t technically belong, but I considered that nothing worse than spelunking through the maintenance corridors of the shopping mall with my high school buddies. Trespassing, at most.
     Without another word, I turned from the faces of my accusers and stepped out into the abyss of a cold, gray Friday afternoon. I thought I heard someone gasp as the door shut behind me with a heavy thud.

* * * *

     After a belated lunch, I crashed through my dorm room door, dropped my jacket and backpack to the floor, and fell face forward onto my bed.
     My roommate, John Sinclair Merka III, sat on his bed reading a thick, ugly book. “Hey,” he said. “How’d the thing go with the security office?”
     I just grunted and looked over at him. “What the heck are you reading?” I mumbled.
     He snapped the book shut and stood up stretching, then headed for the bathroom. “The C++ Primer. Trying to wrap my head around multiple inheritance in object-oriented design.”
     “Wha? Is that some kind of Zoroastrian incantation?”
     “Might as well be,” he said as he shut the door to the can.
     After a minute I heard the muffled flush.
     “So?” he said kicking my feet that hung off the side of the bed.
     “So, what?” I said with a bit more irritation that I meant. I knew what he was getting at, but didn’t really want to talk about it. Or maybe I just wanted to give back some of the pain the world had just served me, even if that pain fell unfairly on my roommate and friend.
     “The meeting with Campus Security, numbnuts,” John said with a laugh. He walked over to his desk and shoved papers around into a loose pile.
     “Total crap, man. Total, complete crap,” I said, still face down on the bed perpendicular-wise. I pulled my pillow from the head of the bed, sunk my face into it, and groaned.
     “Why? What happened?” he asked with amusement. “Oh hey, this came for you today.“ He pulled an envelope from the pile of papers and flicked it at me. The letter landed by the side of my head. “Looks like it’s from the Dean’s Office. What’s going on?”
     I didn’t feel like talking, but I could tell he wasn’t going to drop it, so I sat up. “They interrogated me.“ I opened the letter and scratched at an itch on my knee while I looked it over. ”Cops, tape recorder, the whole thing. They tried to get me to sign an expulsion form.” I read the letter, then let it drop to the floor.
     “Dude, talk to me,” John said, still amused.
     Flopping back on the bunk, I said,  “The letter says it’s a summons for some kind of informal hearing with the dean to ‘inquire about possible violation of the Student Conduct Code.’”
     John stopped where he stood, stunned. “Wait, what?” His amusement faded. “I thought they were just ticked off at you for missing a student fee … or streaking through the quad ... or something--”
     “That wasn’t me, man.”
     John paused. “Somebody streaked through ‘Red Square’?”
     “Huh? Yeah,” I said. “Last week. I thought everybody knew about it.”
     “No, really?” He grinned and sat down at his desk. The old task chair complained with a series of squeaks.
     I draped my forearm across my eyes and sighed. “They found my disk.” 
     “Ha!’ John laughed, amused again. “Hacker Tools,” he mocked. “I told you not to write that on the label.”
     “It’s worse than that.” I sat up again on the edge of my bed.
     “Worse? How could it be worse?”
     “They want to file criminal charges because of when I helped that jerk fix the print queue that one time.”
     “Wait, wait,” John said. “Slow down. What jerk?”
     I was pretty sure I’d told him about the Printer Incident already, so I looked over to see if he was punking me. “The guy, the guy, “ I said, waving my hand around. “You know, the jerk in the computer lab? Remember the print queue I fixed using the admin program trick?”
     “What?” A bit of panic entered his voice. “What the hell are you talking about?! You didn’t get caught rooting around admin ...”
     I shrugged stupidly.
     “What do they know?!” His voice strained up half an octave.
     I told him about saving the day in the lab, and how the lab tech had seen me in the SysAdmin tool. 
     Then I walked him through the interrogation bit by bit. The lost disk, my dad’s lesson in the car, and how the three accusers seemed to be trying to get me to incriminate myself. I felt myself start to get hot again.
     “Okay, okay, “ John said calming down. He sat back again with another squeak of the chair and looked up at the ceiling. “And that’s all they said?” 
     “That’s pretty much it.”
     John seethed, opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and continued to stare at the ceiling. After a minute he said, “Tell me again what the cop said when he tried to make you sign the paper. I mean, what the hell, dude? Are we both screwed?”
     I looked over at him and shrugged. “I dunno. He didn’t really say anything. Just, sign this or we squeeze your nuts, comrade,” I said in my best Boris Badenov impression, which was bad enough.
     John waved his hand, “No, before that. Something about telling them who else was involved.” He slid so far down in the chair that his head rested on the back of it. He gazed at the ceiling and twisted the chair back and forth on its pivot. “If the I.T. staff and security people are involved, then we really are screwed, huh?”
     “Well now hang on ...” I stood and snatched the letter from the floor. I had an idea, and that got me pacing. “The cop said I needed to tell him how I gained access and who else was involved.”
     “Yeah, so? Sounds like they pretty much know everything then.”
     “No, no.” I shook my head. “Just the opposite. Listen, you haven’t been summoned ...”
     “Not yet. So?”
     “Sooo. Don’t you think they’d want to pit us against each other? They would have a lot more leverage, you know?”
     “No,” John said slowly. “You’re not making sense again. Why would they--”
     “Look,” I said, still pacing. “If they knew about you, they would definitely be using that knowledge against us. You know, try to play us against each other? Right now they’re just fishing.”
     “How can you be sure?”
     “For one, they never mentioned you.” I stopped pacing and looked over at John. “I think the disk freaked them out and they’re fishing for something more.”
     “Could be that they smell blood and think busting us will boost their careers,” John said.
     “Or it could be that they’re scared for their jobs,” I said.
     “Or both.”
     “Wait,” I said waving the dean’s letter at John. “Know what this is?”
     He shrugged.
     I grinned. “This is a summons to a hearing at the Dean’s Office.” 
     “Yeah, you said that.”
     “So, look at the date. This letter was drafted two days ago, the day before the one from Security.” I grabbed my backpack and dug around inside, but the cop had kept the other letter and I hadn’t thought to make a copy. But I still had the envelope. I looked it over. “That’s weird. No postmark.” I compared it to the Dean’s letter. “See here?” I said, showing the envelope to John. ”This was sent through campus mail and has a postmark, but the one from Security is just a typed envelope. They must have delivered it to our box by hand. The security guys wanted to make sure I got their letter before the dean’s. Those pricks thought they had a slam dunk -- wanted to get a confession from me and be heros,” I grumbled.
     “Hey , what if--” John began, then stopped. ”No, that’s stupid.”
     “What?” I asked. I hated when he stopped mid-thought like that.
     “What if the Dean’s Office doesn’t even know about the interrogation.”
     “Exactly.” I said. “That’s where I was heading. They worked hard to get a crack at me first. But since I didn’t play ball and sign their confession form, all they have is the disk with my term paper on it--”
     “And that guy who saw you in the admin screen … you dumbass,” John said with a smirk to take away some of the sting.  
     I stopped my pacing and looked at John. “I was never in the Admin screen.”
     “What do you mean?” John looked confused. “Just a minute ago you said the lab tech saw you in the screen.”
     “I don’t know anything about that,” I said with a sly smile trying to get John to follow.
     “But you just said …”
     I put a up a hand to assuage John’s mounting frustration. “What I mean is, it doesn’t matter what the lab guy says the thinks he saw. It’s just hearsay. ‘I was just in the lab working on my paper. I don’t have access to any Admin Program’” I quoted to John as if on the stand. “Right?”
     “Okay, okay.” John shook his head. “I’m not sure it’ll hold up, but I hope for both our sakes you’re right about this.”
     I was suddenly elated, energized. “Don’t worry. I’m right, okay? But I have some work to do this weekend. I need a plan. What time does the library close?” A glance at my watch told me it was already too late. I frowned and looked around the room unable to bear the thought of sitting here all evening without taking action.
     ”Tell you what,” I said. “What do you say we buy a couple tickets to Wayne’s World? It opens tonight.”
     “Wayne’s World?” John asked with a sardonic grin. “Since when do you --”
     “Yeah, I know.” I nodded. “But I could use a brainless distraction right now. Besides, it should be just crowded enough to try out some social engineering ideas I’ve worked up.”
     “Again?” John asked. He stood and reached for his leather jacket. “I don’t get why you sneak in when you always buy the ticket anyway.”
     “Well what’s the fun of walking in like the rest of the sheeple?” I shrugged.
     “So, why buy the ticket at all? Why not just sneak in?”
     “Because, man” I said with a smile. “That’d be wrong.”

* * * *

     I got to the hearing a few minutes early, but the others were already positioned around a lacquered table that filled the the conference room. Square wooden chairs covered with yellow and brown fabric surrounded the table. Similar chairs ringed the room with their backs against the light brown, rough corduroy that covered the walls. 
     I felt tired and anxious, but relieved at the same time that the weekend was finally over. A single weekend wasn’t much time to prepare for a crucial meeting that might affect the rest of one’s life. All the same, though, there had been plenty of time to stew about it.
     I took my place on the far side of the table facing the door. Directly in front of me sat the triumvirate of accusers: Campus Cop Dave, Lab Tech Cody, and Suspected IT Admin. The dean occupied the seat at the head of the table. Behind the dean in one of the seats that ringed the perimeter sat a man in a suit. He held a slick, brown briefcase upon which a yellow notepad rested. The dean introduced the suit as James so-and-so, the university’s legal counsel. 
     “Well, let’s get started, shall we?” the dean said looking around the table and nodding.
     “First, I should mention that this is an informal hearing and not a legal proceeding. We are here to get to the truth of the allegations of breach of the University’s code of ethics.” He paused and made eye contact with everyone again. 
     “Before we get started, does anyone have any questions, or need clarification?”
     It irked me that they had a lawyer for this “informal hearing,” so I said so.
     The dean smiled. “Jim is only here as a matter of university policy.”
     “Well, things seem a little stacked against me -- ” I let the sentence trail off.
     “I can see how you might feel that way,” said the dean. “But we have found that bringing everyone together in a less formal setting is the best way to get to the bottom of an issue with the least hassle.”
     Least hassle for whom? I thought. It’s my butt on the line.
     “We want everyone to be able to share openly,” the dean continued. He paused and looked around the room. “Anything else? Is everyone good?” Silence.
     “Okay, good,” said the dean. He then nodded to the cop. “Dave, why don’t you get us started?”
     And with that, we were off to a great start.
     Campus Cop Dave cleared his throat. “We have evidence and a witness that this student has broken the code of ethics and has engaged in computer hacking--”
     “Alleged,” I said barely more than a mumble. It just slipped out, and again, betrayed my attitude about this whole thing. 
     Sorry, what was that?” asked the dean.
     I cleared my throat to buy a little time. “Alleged … ‘computer hacking,’” I said with a blank expression. I might have made air quotes, but it’s not really the sort of thing I do.
     The dean shifted in his chair. With a forced smile, he said, “Well, as stated before, these are not legal proceedings. You will get your chance to speak.” He motioned for Campus Cop Dave to continue.
     “We found this disk left behind in the lab last week.” He handed the diskette kit-corner across the table to the dean. 
     The disk again! These guys thought they’d found the smoking gun, but I was betting that they hadn’t looked too closely at the contents.
     The dean’s eyebrows jumped when he read the label. He glanced over at me, then set the disk down as Campus Cop Dave continued.
     “We found the name ‘William Armitage’ in one of the files on that disk. When we confronted him about it, he admitted that the property belonged to him.”
     Perfect, I thought. Keep heading down that road. 
     The dean nodded. His expression gave me the feeling that he’d already made up his mind. But still he said, “Continue.” 
     Campus Cop Dave and the Accusers summed up the Printer Incident and what they presumed about the disk. My heart pounded as I waited for the other shoe to drop …
     But it didn’t. 
     Nothing came up that hadn’t been in the interrogation. No details about the breach. Nothing about intrusion detection or tracking or who else might be involved. Could it be that John and I had nailed it? Could these guys be basing their whole case on the title written on a diskette?
     A glimmer of hope warmed a dark recess of my mind. Barely felt, but it was there. I might actually get outta this.
     But then the dean straightened and said, “Well, this is a serious violation of the student code. We can’t allow unauthorized access to our systems. We will have no choice but to expel you from this institution.”
     “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I protested holding up a hand. The dean had just slammed the door! I glanced at the pleased looks on The Accusers faces, then back to the dean. Unprepared for this turn of events, I blurted, “So that’s it? You’re just going to take these guys’ word for it?” or something equally as brilliant.
     I was starting to see red, so I took a deep breath, held it, let it go slowly while the dean, with condescension coloring his voice, said, “Okay, then, Mr. Armitage. What do you have to say for yourself?”
     I began slowly, reeling them in. “Yes, the disk is mine.” I paused. I wanted everyone to wrap themselves in their cozy little blankets of smugness. I continued with all the Pollyanna innocence I could muster. ”It contains my English paper -- which I should be turning in right now as a matter of fact.” On a whim I fished the paper out of my backpack. I had planned to swing by the prof’s office after the hearing to hand it in, that is, on the off chance I didn't get the boot today. “This is the rough draft I worked on over the weekend.” I leaned over and handed it to the dean.
     He took the paper and glanced at the title. He then flipped through it, and set the pages down next to the diskette.
     I waited for him to nod, then continued. “I chose to research ‘hacking’ for my paper.” This time I definitely used air quotes. See? I can be a dick too. 
     ”I thought the topic might make the paper stand out. But isn’t that what university is about? Aren’t we here to explore knowledge even in the face of ignorance?” I kept my expression neutral and avoided the glaring eyes of the Accusers. “I admit, the disk label was kind of a dumb idea.” I forced a chuckle. “But it’s just a prop. I thought it lent a bit of realism to the project and I was going to hand it in with the paper.
     “But ...” I continued before anyone could cut me off. “Poor judgement naming a research project is no reason to burn me at the stake. And furthermore … “ (Yes, when I get defensive my diction gets a bit stilted.) “Furthermore, research in a controlled environment is hardly cause for the interrogation you subjected me to on Friday.”
     The dean blinked, looked at Campus Cop Dave, then back to me with a blank expression. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” 
     “The interrogation,” I said flatly. The dean’s expression stayed blank, so I pushed a bit further. “The hearing … the meeting …,” I drawled. “I’m not sure what else to call it.” The dean’s expression confirmed what I’d guessed: that he had no knowledge of Friday’s get-together; that the Friday meeting had been a clumsy attempt to force a confession. 
     I pulled a booklet out of my backpack, then flipped it open to a page bookmarked with a paperclip and passed the booklet to the dean. “Would you mind reading the underlined passage from the ‘Student Conduct Code’, uh, sir?” 
     The dean glowered. “You are out of line, Mr. Armitage.”
     Abashed, I retracted the booklet, but then started reading anyway. “‘A dean … may initiate a disciplinary proceeding by conducting or directing a member of . . .’”
     “Mr. Armitage--” the dean repeated, but I kept reading, raising my voice at the dean’s attempts to control the situation. 
     “‘. . . A MEMBER of his or her staff to conduct, an informal hearing with the respondent.’” “What is your point, Mr. Armitage?”
     “Well that should be clear,” I said. “The Student Conduct Code clearly identifies that this informal hearing … “ I pointed down at the table. “... ‘initiates’ a ‘disciplinary proceeding’. The interrogation last Friday was a violation of this Code. First of all, the interrogation took place prior to this informal hearing, according to the passage I just read. Second, the interrogation was recorded, and therefore outside the definition of informal.” I was reaching on that one, but figured it was worth taking the chance.
     ”And third,” I continued, “under duress, I was pressured to sign an expulsion form, which represents ... let's see how does the book put it?” I made a show of flipping to the front of the book and running my fingers down the table of contents. “Ah yes, ‘Disciplinary Sanctions’ - - which also occurred prior to this official hearing - -  a direct violation of Title 378-12-075. Which states … ”
     “That’s enough, Mr. Armitage!” the dean said.
     “Are you sure?” I said. “Because I have it right here. ‘The purpose of a hearing ... is to provide all parties with an opportunity to present evidence and argument before disciplinary sanctions are imposed on a respondent.’”
     “Mister Armitage! You are out of line. We are all very familiar with what the section says.”
     “Oh,” I said. “Are you? Because--”
     “Yes!” the dean said. “That will be quite enough!”
     I snapped the booklet shut and slapped it down in on the table in front of me. I felt I was pushing my luck, but my scholarship was on the line -- maybe even my whole college career. This was it. This was the brass ring.
     I continued. “I don’t feel that I am out of line, just being clear. I also think that it’s clear that whereas I have not violated the Code, your office has by attempting to impose sanctions without a hearing.”
     “Son,” the dean said. “This is the initial hearing. I don't know where you're going with this, but I should inform you that you are on very thin ice.”
     I acted surprised. “Officer Jones hasn’t shared the tape he made of Friday’s proceedings?”
     The dean turned to the cop. “Dave? What meeting is Mr. Armitage referring to?”
     Campus Cop Dave looked stricken. He composed himself and said, “I don’t know, sir. This is the first I’ve heard about it.” 
     “Sir! ” I sputtered. “I find it hard to believe that you have no knowledge that these three had me in a room at Campus Security on Friday for almost two hours! They slapped an expulsion form in front of me and told me to sign or they would put me in jail.”
     Campus Cop Dave shrugged. “I don’t know what he’s talking about, sir. I have no knowledge of this.”
     I just about leapt out of my chair. “Oh really?!” I noisily rummaged through my papers. “I have a copy of the summons letter as well as a witness of the letter’s arrival, and this envelope,” of course, I was bluffing about the copy of the letter, but I slapped the envelope on the table. “It’s from the Security office with no postmark.” 
     I paused for a second then went on. “Not to mention the fact that when Campus Cop -- I mean Officer Jones -- handed you that disk not two minutes ago,” I said, pointing to the dean, ”he distinctly stated, ’When we confronted him about the disk ….‘“ I let that hang in the air a second. “When do you suppose Officer Jones confronted me, sir?”
     The look on Campus Cop Dave’s face was priceless. He back pedaled. “We did not force him to give a confession.”
     And there it was.
     I wanted to yell, “BOO-YAH!! - - But the phrase wouldn't be in vogue for at least another decade. 
     After a brief pause the dean said, “But you had an unauthorized meeting with Mr. Armitage, and put an expulsion form in front of him?”
     Campus Cop Dave nodded.
     I could have danced a jig.
     The dean sighed and rubbed his forehead above his glasses.
     Suspected IT Admin must have felt the proceedings were turning against their case, because now he piped up. “He’s guilty! We saw the tools on the disk.”
     “You saw research.” I shot back.
     “What did you find, specifically, on the disk?” the dean asked Suspected IT Admin.
     “Um, yes, sir. We think they are tools to crack passwords.”
     The dean’s eyebrows went up. “Is this true?”
     “Yes,” I stated boldly. “The ‘crack’ utility and a sample password file as part of the research. But the utility will only work on Unix passwords. It doesn’t work on the OpenVMS systems that we use here -- which these two, “ I pointed to Lab Tech Cody and Suspected IT Admin, “should know as a matter of course. That’s why I felt safe researching it in the lab. The program won’t even run on those machines. I only had it on the disk so I could read the package documentation.” 
     “Is this true?” The dean asked.
     “Um,” Suspected IT Admin stammered, “I’m not sure that’s exactly correct. I’d have to investigate further.”
     “Investigate further?!” The dean echoed with incredulity. The room went silent. The dean’s gaze jumped from person to person. “Guys,” he said, drawing the word out. “We’re in the middle of the hearing. Now. When were you going to be sure?” He took off his glasses, squeezed his eyes tight, and rubbed his forefinger and thumb across his eyelids.
     “Well we assumed--” the suspected I.T. admin started. The dean cut him off with a wave of his hand then replaced his spectacles.
     “Jim,” he said with a sigh, leaning back and motioning to the lawyer behind him. The rest of the room sat in silence while Legal Counsel Jim legally counselled the dean.
     After a moment, the dean nodded. He cleared his throat. “In light of the circumstances, I think we have all we need at this time. I’ll review the audio recording of the meeting of last Friday and see if this warrants further action, but at this point I don’t think we have anything further to discuss.”
     I couldn’t believe it. A few moments ago I faced the University “firing squad,” now it looked like I might get out of this with my college career intact. I tried to concealed a grin as I collected my things. “May I have my assignment back please?” I reached for the disk.
     “I’m sorry, Mr. Armitage. I won’t be able to return this until such time as we can determine that the contents are, in fact,  harmless.”
     So this wasn’t the end.
     Then the dean continued and said something remarkable. “This whole thing has the markings of a witch hunt.
     But, Mr. Armitage, I hope you know how serious the matter of computer hacking is. You’re lucky we don’t expel you just for having a disk with that label regardless of what’s actually on it.” 
     “Yes, sir.” I kept my expression neutral and nodded. “Is that it then? May I go?”
     “Yes. You are excused.”
     “What?!” Lab Tech Cody exploded as I started to stand. 
     The dean looked up surprised by the outburst. “You three, sit!” He punctuated the exclamation with a jab of his forefinger. He made a show of taking off his glasses and sitting back in his chair. “Never in my tenure have I seen such a mess. I can’t for the life of me figure out what you people hoped to accomplish by all this!”
     Interesting as things were getting, I wasn’t about to wait around. I grabbed my gear and didn’t let the door hit me in the butt on my way out. I bolted from the administration building with just enough time to hand in my dumb English assignment.

* * * *

     “Probation!” I said in disgust and slapped the letter addressed from the dean’s office onto the desk.
     “Hey, beats jail time,” John grinned. “And you can always appeal, right?”
     “Yeah, but why would I? Anyway, check this out,” I smoothed out the letter and showed him. “They want me to testify in a hearing against the cop.”
     “Well good. That was a bullcrap stunt he pulled. Hope he gets what’s coming!” John scanned the letter and taunted, “Ha! The rest of the semester on probation for naming your English paper ‘Hacking Tools.’” 
     “Yeah. You gotta be kidding me.“

* * * *

Epilogue



     A few years after graduation, my old roommate John Merka and I met at a local technical conference. I had  been working as a technical trainer at a Seattle healthcare company for about five years. John, on the other hand, had built and sold his own Internet service provider company during the boom, and now looked for a place to park his capital gains. Over drinks we sketched a business plan to start our own technical training company. Linux had just hit in a big way, and John knew some people at RedHat who could get us into contract training to keep the lights on. In the meantime we’d save up, build our own training center, and start teaching our own classes with our own original content. “There’s gonna be a big market for network and computer security training,” said John.
     And he was right. Not long after, we had our own facility and a fat contract with the State Education Association. All the school districts scheduled their I.T. staffs to attend.
     I busied myself with the minutia of running the company, delivering content, and teaching courses until one Monday morning I scanned the students on the back row of my Network Security class and thought I recognized one of them. 
     I couldn’t believe it! Right there in my classroom sat Suspected IT Admin, looking stunned and embarrassed (as well he should!). And sure enough, fidgeting in the seat next to him sat Lab Tech Cody.
     As if it had all happened yesterday, the Printer Incident and proceedings of that cold February back in 1992 flooded into my mind and I felt color rise on my face.
     After all this time those two still worked I.T. for the university, and Lab Tech Cody still wore that stupid, unbuttoned dress-shirt and AC/DC tee, and, most of all, they'd ended up, through karma or poetic justice or just plain dumb luck, in my classroom! 
     I looked down to review the roster and, through gritted teeth, muttered, “You gotta be kidding me.”